My friend Doug ( http://homelesssmith.tumblr.com/ ) gets mixed up with names quite a lot, and there 2 in particular that he forgets so often that I now know who he is talking about. The conversation usually goes a bit like this…
Doug - You know the ones I mean! The opposites of Hugh Jackman and Christopher Walkin!?
Can I not just play Scrabble without having to deal with pervy old men?!
Joseph - Hiya, how are you? Good luck :)
Me - I'm fine thanks and you? Good luck to you too.
Joseph - Where are you from?
Me - Scotland, you?
Joseph - London. Thats a nice photo of you.
Me - Its a bit small for you to actually see, but thanks anyway...
Joseph - Are you married?
Me - No, i'm only 22. You?
Joseph - No, living life to the fullest.
Me - By playing Scrabble? ...
Joseph - I'm 58, is that too old to be talking to you?
Me - We're only playing scrabble mate. I played with a 78 year old woman once.
Joseph - Do you have a boyfriend?
Me - Yes.
Joseph - You look very sexy, are you alone there?
Me - You're too old to be talking to me like that mate. I'm more than half your age.
Joseph - Never too old or young for a bit of dirty chat. Do you want to try it?
Me - Well yes, you are. Try what?
Joseph - A bit of dirty talk?
Me - No, I actually do not at all. Like seriously, I really don't.
Joseph - Lighten up, you might enjoy it. I bet you've never been with an experienced man ;)
Me - Right... 1, I just told you that I have a boyfriend and 2, I have just told you that you are WAY too old to be talking to me like that. Plus I don't think Scrabble is the best way to meet ladies. Go onto a chat room specifically designed for that purpose and you might have more luck...
Joseph - Alright frigid!
Me - It's not frigid, you're almost 60. You're over weight and bald, and you think you can chat up a 22 year old on scrabble? Scrabble of all things?! Bugger off to an over 50's chat room.